Although there is a period of adjustment to divorce, midlife adults cope better with divorce than young adults (Marks &Lambert, 1998). I am a young adult and I have not found my adjustment period yet. Again, I will vent to inform that sometimes people hide in a shell. They pick up and move on with their daily living task as if every thing is peaches and cream. On the inside they are hurting and wondering how things should be. On the outside they put on a made up face and smile as if everything is perfect.
Throughtout this blog, I hope to develop coping skills to help me get through this difficult time. Reading and understanding that I am not out there alone has helped.
Hutchison, Elizabeth D. (2008), Dimensions of Human Behavior The Changing Life Course. 3rd ed.
5 comments:
Check out this link:
http://blendedfamilies.suite101.com/article.cfm/adult_children_of_divorce
and this one:
http://www.divorceinfo.com/adultchildren.htm
and this online support group message board:
http://adultkidsofdivorce.yuku.com/
Keep blogging!
As a young adult I have now been a child of two divorces and my mother is working on the third. She divorced my father when I was two. I'm not sure that one had much of an effect on me. She married my first step-father when I was 6. He is the one I would consider my father, but things got bad when I was a Senior in High School and they divorced when I was 19. I guess this one hurt a little. After the divorce, I was nothing to the man who had raised me. Now we only talk when I have to go to his house to see my sister otherwise it's like I was never his daughter. My mother married again when I was around 21. That marriage has been hell. I've had to deal with her emotional, druken freak-outs for years now due to the drama in that marriage. Now they are seperated for like the fifth time. I would say this marriage is driving me crazy and the divorce would probably relieve the stress!
I think it has to be mind boggling to go through your entire life with two adoring parents and then one day suddenly begin seeing them go their separate ways. When things go a certain way for long periods of time, you become complacent and assume they will always remain the same. You see it happening to your neighbors and coworkers, but then you nonchalantly say things happen. However, when that situation takes place where you once coveted as a safe haven, the situation becomes untenable. Children of divorced parents are affected whether young or old, I would expect. I have not ever focused on whether adult children were traumatized as bad as young children. So, I am curious as to the side effects adult children experience.
Congratulations on taking the difficult step in really facing the impact of divorce on your life. You are definitely NOT alone! A couple of resources you may find helpful:
Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquardt
Child of Divorce, Child of God by Kristine Steakley
Generation Ex by Jen Abbas
To Whom It May Concern:
My name is Samantha Friedman, an alumna of the University of California at Berkeley and Fordham University, and I am currently a doctoral clinical psychology student at Saybrook University (San Francisco). I am seeking adults between the ages of 20 and 35 who have experienced parental divorce in either childhood or adulthood to assist me in the completion of a study that examines the effects of parental divorce on marital attitudes and intimacy.
If you agree to participate in this study, please click on this link (http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/TK8Q7GT) and complete the survey on SurveyMonkey.com. The online survey I am conducting is very easy to complete. The whole process is designed to take less than 15 minutes to complete. Participation in this study is completely voluntary and anonymous. You are free to not answer any question, to stop participating at any time for any reason, and to not have your information be part of the data set. All forms will be kept confidential; that is, no one will have knowledge of which questionnaire belongs to you.
The aim of my study is to learn about the psychological impact of parental divorce, particularly how the age at which parental divorce occurs influences attitudes towards marriage and intimacy. It is of particular importance to examine the effects of parental divorce on marital attitudes and levels of intimacy because they are indicators of relationship stability. The ultimate goal of this study is to acquire data that can be used to assist adult children of divorce in understanding the impact of mid- to late-life parental divorce and develop strategies that encourage healthy, lasting marriages.
Please contact me if you would like a summary of my findings when the project is finished. If you have any questions, please contact me at SamanthaFriedman@hotmail.com.
Thank you in advance for your time and assistance. I really appreciate your help and I am sincerely grateful.
Best wishes,
Samantha Friedman
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